Hide it Now - Drink it Later

Know what’s great about vodka? Vodka doesn’t have a scent if you mix it with the right thing. I usually go for some Cyrstal Light; the fruit punch flavor. It’s pretty good and almost tasteless. It’s good in orange juice, too. That’s how I start a lot of my mornings. Cereal and a screwdriver. Vodka does a great job at letting the mixer overpower its flavor. It’s not really cocky like other hard liquors that just have to be present and give the back of your throat that tingle that makes you wonder if you’re going to throw up. But vodka doesn’t affect me the way other alcohols do.

Know what’s great about rum? Rum can go in anything and rum gets me drunk faster than any of the other liquors. From juice, just like what I put the vodka in, to coke. That’s usually what I drink at the bar, rum and coke. It’s sweet, but not too sweet and the bubbles are a bonus. They’re a new refreshing feeling going down my throat and mix well with that tickle. I only need about four rum and cokes to get me under the table, but I usually have a few more because I’m dancing and sweating it out. Don’t want that buzz to wear off before I go home.

Know what’s great about baileys and peppermint schnapps? Baileys goes well in my morning coffee and with the right creamer can’t be detected by someone that walks buy and catches a whiff of my coffee. I usually get compliments on “how good it smells” and they often ask, “what’s your secret?” I tell them it’s just my mixture of creamer products. Peppermint schnapps goes well in hot chocolate. On those mornings that I start with a vodka and orange juice, I don’t start with coffee. Instead, I bring some hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps and little marshmallows that float on the top. Mmm. Those are my favorite. And on those days, I bring a flask filled with a little extra. They’re not particularly strong, so I have to have enough to get me through the day without killing someone at work.

Know what’s great about beds? Beds have storage underneath, but my bed is especially genius. It’s not meant to have storage underneath, but if I lift my mattress, there are slats and I can see the carpeted floor. That storage underneath is awesome for hiding my bottles of vodka, rum, baileys, and peppermint schnapps. But really, that’s the beauty of it all. No one has a fucking clue what I’m hiding.